True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
