Only a mothe r could love this liver
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize