did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize