I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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