11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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