from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
