you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
