i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
