do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
