How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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