uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
