Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize