just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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