I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
