guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
