im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
