Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
