So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
