in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This baby is an asshole
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
