I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
