her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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