he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
