I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
