it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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