About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
