Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize