last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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