I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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