We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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