May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
