I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
