I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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