so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
