Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
