Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They took my balls.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
