I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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