just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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