He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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