I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i think i just lost a toe
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
