my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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