I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
