I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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