I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
