i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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