Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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