I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
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I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
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Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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