i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.