Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My penis needs a shock collar
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.