Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit