i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
