Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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