sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We have started to decorate penises.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
