Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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