toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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