u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
