Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
