the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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