go do what you do best...puke behind churches
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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