So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
